(With apologies to Tom Wolfe, who penned the classic book of essays bearing the same title. His work is renowned for defying the standard conventions of writing, just as the following piece does—Ed.)

As told by Bob Scocca

I’m 49 years old, married with three kids. Started working on cars at the age of nine, helped my neighbor pull engines from Beetles. He got me started in dealership work. Worked for VW, Audi, Porsche, Maserati and Subaru. After 20 years of turning wrenches for a living I left that field to pursue a career in real estate. Three years in the business and the itch started. I needed to build something. I searched around for awhile and came across Factory Five. Ordered a complete non-donor kit in January of 2009, and it was delivered on February 7, 2009, and completed in November of 2009.

Helmet was painted by Nub of American Chopper fame (Tuetels). I had the helmet painted to look like a pumpkin with a Cobra popping out the back. Nub used the same color codes from the car paint for the helmet.

The car has won a number of car shows, Three years in a row it took First Place in class at the Festival by the Sea in Hempstead, NY. Won two times at Factory Five (Open House), first time was in 2011 for best interior and best engine for the roadster class. Second time was last year when we met [your editor].

On an annual trip to Lake George, NY for the Summer cruise, where a bunch of us get together every year for a great time, my neighbor (Mike) came with me. Well let’s just say it was a learning experience, a 230-mile, four-hour drive that started at 4 a.m. in the rain.

I had the hard top on. This is all good and dandy but I have no wipers. That was the start of the trip. During the Saturday cruise through the hills surrounding Lake George on a nice July day where the outside temp was about 98, Mike looks over at me and asks, “Are we on fire?” I look at him confused and start laughing uncontrollably, I switched on the seat heater on his side instead of the cooling fans.

On the ride home, we got stuck in traffic on the George Washington Bridge for three hours, stop-and-go 102 degrees, again Mike looks at me and starts babbling on like a crazy guy off his meds, I ask what is wrong, his only reply: “I ran out of cigars and were still an hour and half from home.”

My wife, when I first took the car out, gets in and asks, “How fast is this thing?” Bad mistake, I dump the clutch, the nose comes up and we launch, I make it about four house lengths and she starts screaming “Let me out!” I don’t think she’s been in the car since.

A great time is when I drive the kids to school, every now and then I take one at a time to school and all their friends stop and drool, “Is that your Dad’s car?”

One day on the way home from work, My wife calls and asks if I can pick up a pizza n the way home. As I’m getting into the car a guy who was looking at it says “That has got to be the fastest pizza delivery car on the island.”

A lot of people ask me why I painted the car the color that it is. Couple of reasons—One, I wanted something different, don’t get me wrong, the original colors look great, I just need to be outside the box of normal to feel comfortable.

Two—with this color it kind of forces me to behave, damn thing can be seen two miles down the road.

One great advantage about a car like this, when the daily stresses of life start getting to you, go for a ride with a nice cigar and a grin that does not stop, stress gone.